A Hard Day's Night

 Having ADHD can make some things breezy and other things extremely difficult.  One of the things that I do all-or-nothing seems to be the housework.  There might be days everything is a total wreck, and days everything is immaculate.  

Yesterday, I got a lot done.  I vacuumed all three floors, cleaned litter boxes, painted a wall, cleaned one of the bathrooms thoroughly and various other tasks that needed work.  But for the first time in years, I didn't sleep last night.

I'm not sure that it's not tied to the medications I take or the diagnosis that I have in particular, but I tossed and turned for a few hours, surfed my phone for a few hours, and finally got up and made V-Day breakfast pamcakes for my husband.

I got about two and a half weeks before my youngest daughter moves back home.

This doesn't bother me in so much there's going to be another person under the roof, I just really wish that her first time out of the gate would have been successful in the way she wanted.  She moved off with some framily in Texas and while she was okay, she wasn't getting ahead. 

Living in Houston is difficult at best.  The city is big, and if you don't live inner city, then it's a pain in the ass to get around anywhere.  The further from the center of the city you get, the more remote and obscure the bus stations become.  It's a hard city to live in if you don't have a car, and she neither has a car nor a driver's license, thus having to depend on others to get to and from work. 

I have a hard time with people who criticize younger individuals.  It's difficult to move out nowadays.  Difficult to get a job in which supports both a place to live, a car, and just basic survival expenses like, you know, food.  People are like, "Go to college!  Get a better job!"  But 'better' jobs generally want experience or schooling.  Schooling is expensive.  If you have experience, then you're an older person, not one of those yet to be 20 or a twenty-something.  People get stuck in this system, and now that there are all these companies that suddenly need employees to work through a pandemic, they're still not paying any better than they were.  So that twenty-something that worked three jobs killing themselves to rent a room with other twenty-somethings that lost their job and had to move back home, guess what?  They're drawing unemployment because they were so abruptly cut from their jobs (which, I don't care who's bitching about that, when you suddenly lose your job and the vast majority of people don't have/can't afford a savings anymore, making any type of sudden life switch is costly!) or they've decided to screw it and bite the bullet and sweat out student loans going back to school so they don't have to put up with minimum wage bullshit and all the Karens that come with it.  People want to complain about the lack of maturity in younger generations, but you got an entire generation of kids now that are going into the workforce that were raised by latchkey kids, who pretty much had to raise themselves because inflation caused both parents to have to work away from home in order to have something akin to the 'American Dream'.

Maybe I just hadn't had enough coffee this morning.  Yeah, yeah.  Even without the sleep, the coffee doesn't do much.  If you give someone with ADHD a coffee or something loaded with sugar, chances are they'll take it and it won't effect them much.  It doesn't speed us up like normal people.  In fact, people with ADHD generally have a sweet tooth or love of caffeinated things.  It's just how our chemistry pumps.

Hopefully I can get stuff done today too as I get off work.  It's a longer day, because the crew is headed out of town, but maybe I can get back in time with some energy.  With the hours-long drive there and back, if I can get a nap in, I'll try.  Because I'm pretty sure, not matter how awake I feel, I could at least use the time to close my eyes and listen to my headphones.